Creating Space
Personally, I've also been taking time to sit back and think about where I want to go next, saying “no” a lot and using that space and time in the ways that are nourishing me right now.
CREATING SPACE
Last month I shared with ya'll some pretty intimate experiences around the anxiety I sometimes experience. Would you believe the day I sent that email and the week after my anxiety really tried me y'all. Like, oh, since you out here announcing that we're done and you good without me, let me just make sure, lol. That said, I am clear on the fact that we can always continue improving but we never arrive. Just like a mathematical limit. We come closer to our divine self, we become stronger, more capable, more skilled at life — but the challenges don't stop coming. We simply get better at standing in our power through them.
What I've observed as a natural progression from this place is the desire for space — space to explore, space to decide, space to create, space to reflect, space to feel free. See, when we give ourselves the opportunity to step back we have the opportunity to make choices from intent, to decide rather than react. Personally, committing to regular healing therapy sessions has offered me a lot of space as I release the things that hold me back and lean into my joy and healing. I've also been taking time to sit back and think about where I want to go next, saying no A LOT and using that space and time in the ways that are nourishing me right now.
You can create space for yourself too, and that will likely look different for all of us but at the base level it's opportunity cost — an economic principle that I never forgot from my college days:
Opportunity cost
noun: economics
the loss of potential gain from other alternatives when one alternative is chosen.
This means that when you make a choice, you are aware of what you are giving up in order to gain something else. In short, saying no to one thing means saying yes to another. When you say no, you create space to say yes to something else. The key here is that you don't need to have a “plan” for this newly found space. In essence it's just that, giving yourself enough space to decide how you want to use it.
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Indicators you need to more space:
you feel overwhelmed (mentally, emotionally or otherwise)
you are tired and can't seem to catch up with yourself
you feel unclear about what to do next
you have very little “me" time or none at all
you can't remember the last time you had a day to yourself
Tips on how to create space:
take inventory of where your time is going (social media included)
consider opportunity cost, what can you take off your plate or delegate?
notice what you're saying yes to out of feeling obligated
start saying no to things/people that don't excite you or bring you joy
start saying yes to yourself!
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I started the practice of saying no last year it's been probably thee most liberating thing in my life. I had an epiphany recently where I realized that there were things I thought I couldn't say no to (think requests from work, family obligations, depleting friends). When I realized I COULD say no to these things, people, experiences, it returned my power back to me.
I'm no longer afraid of what people will think when I say no and prioritize my wellbeing over everything else. I check in with myself before committing to anything, if fact, my new practice is that I don't agree to anything the moment I'm asked, I give myself the space and time (a few minutes or several days) to think about it and decide if it's what I want, if it's in my best interest.
This has allowed me to embody more deeply a yogic principle called asteya, truthfulness. By being honest with myself, or as my podcast co-host Nicole says, tell the truth about a thing, When I'm honest with myself, I can make choices that reflect my what I want and lead me to peace and joy.
I take my time to decide what is right for me.
I give myself space to explore my joy.
I let go of the expectations of others.
I am deserving of my own time, love, attention and affection.
Now, on to the exciting announcements for October.
PODCAST SEASON II
Afro Yoga Podcast: Black + Well Abroad. If you haven't listened yet you can binge here. We spoke with Black women from London, Sweden, Scotland and Cuba. Here's who we have coming up next.
We record these every week on Instagram Live at 9A PST if you'd like to tune in.
Listen on Apple Podcast | Listen on Spotify
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Have a beautiful month creating space and living life the way you want it.
Until next time, hotep y’all,
Angie